Bibulous

(from wiktionary)

Adjective

bibulous (comparative more bibulous, superlative most bibulous)

1. very absorbent
2. given to or marked by the consumption of alcohol

When I was given the 'New Generation Washcloth' below, I assumed some bored sweatshop packaging designer had taken to inventing new words. I was wrong! Turns out there's large swaths of China where they learnt English from turn-of-the-century (no, the OTHER century) dictionaries. Although now that I think about it, it's just as likely there's some cynical Oxford lit grad expat receiving a hefty commission for having figured out how to monetize the desire to laugh at foreigners. Either way, I think it's time 'bibulous' made its triumphant re-entry into popular lexicon!